Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Taran Adarsh - The most illiterate yet popular film critic

I've been waiting to write this post for a long time. Don't know when. May be from Dil chahta hai time or Swades. I was thinking that it aint the right time to post anything about the stupid Indiafm reviewer, but after reading his movie review of Dev D I had no intention to hold back. I don't want to explain why he is bad, or why he is biased. I don't even want to prove anything as the facts I've collected speak for themselves. Here are the various movies, some great, some bad, placed not in any particular order. You can clearly see that the rating and the excerpt from the review make totally no sense with the movie:

Kabhi Alvida na kehna - 4.5 / 5

On the whole, KABHI ALVIDA NAA KEHNA is an outstanding film from the writing, performance and execution point of view. It has style, substance, it takes challenges and doesn't follow formulas -- and that is its biggest strength.

Rang de basanti - 2.5 / 5

A.R. Rahman's music is ordinary. Barring ?Paathshala? and the title track, Rahman?s score doesn?t stay with you after the screening has ended.

Singh is Kingg - 4 / 5

Few minutes into the film and you know that SINGH IS KINNG is a lavish spectacle that’s high on entertainment. Sonu Sood chasing a gora assassin at the very start or minutes later, Akshay chasing a hen — SINGH IS KINNG starts with gusto.

Chak de India - 2 / 5

On the whole, CHAK DE INDIA is a well-made product, but its fate at the ticket window wouldn't be as glorious as its intentions.

Welcome - 4 / 5

Welcome to the crazy, mad, funny, outlandish, outrageous, zany world of WELCOME, directed by Anees Bazmee, who gave us the rib-tickling NO ENTRY.

Thoda pyar thoda magic - 3.5 / 5

That Kunal Kohli is a fine storyteller has already been proved [HUM TUM and FANAA were accomplished works]. Now watch him handle a simple, uncomplicated story with dexterity and you'd agree, Kunal has only matured with time.

Swades - 1.5 / 5

A.R. Rahman's music may sound soothing when you hear it, but when viewed with the story, most of the songs are of the 'fast forward' variety. Clearly, there's not one track you carry home after the screening has concluded. In fact, it would be in the best interests of the film to delete a few songs in the second half, for that would perk up the goings-on to an extent. It would prove to be a good exercise in some damage control at least!

Heyy Babyy - 4 / 5

HEYY BABYY promises entertainment unlimited and delivers it with aplomb. Do carry your kerchief along. It makes you laugh, it makes you moist-eyed. This Babyy rocks!

Yuvvraj - 3 / 5

Yet, in all fairness, YUVVRAAJ is a notch above the commonplace. If you intend spending your hard-earned money on it or devoting 3 hours of your precious time on Ghai's new outing, chances are you won't regret it.

Life in a Metro - 2.5 / 5

Another area where the film suffers is that each and every song has the 'Metro Band' coming up from nowhere and humming the lines. Agreed, they are good singers and using the Band in a song or two would've been okay, but every song? They're such a terrible put-off! Besides, the music [Pritam] is strictly okay.

Dil Chahta hai - 2 / 5

The biggest flaw of the film is that it has been treated like an English film. To be honest, it is too western for the Indian masses to digest. Moreover, in the post-interval portions, the story moves on three different tracks, which are alien to each other. The film suffers in the scripting department. The storyline is new, but it has its limitations. It might appeal to a select few in metros; universal acceptance is ruled out.

Karzzz - 4 / 5

At the box-office, the film should fetch a thunderous start and in due course, should be amongst the biggest achievers of the year in terms of business. Reincarnation themes have a super-successful track record, right from KARZ to KARAN ARJUN to OM SHANTI OM. Now add KARZZZZ to this list. Damn the pseudo critics who even rubbished KARZ three decades ago. Go by your instinct and have a blast!

Rab ne bana di jodi - 2 / 5

The business in Overseas, however, should be better, but the business in India RAB NE BANA DI JODI is no DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE, it's not MOHABBATEIN either. will totter, tremble and fumble after the initial weekend.

Black - 2 / 5

But Bhansali is letdown, and terribly at that, by the screenplay department. The screenplay does not offer much in the post-interval portions. In fact, the story takes its own time to unfold in this half. Also, the interaction between Amitabh and Rani gets cyclic and monotonous after a point.

And finally, the latest movie review ...

Dev D - 1 / 5

There's no harm if you pick up an enticing story and tell it your way, but Kashyap goes a bit too far, crosses all limits and tends to get abstract once again. And that's the reason for DEV D's downfall. Watching DEV D is akin to doing atyachaar on oneself! On the whole, DEV D is NO SMOKING II. Does one elaborate more?

Reading these reviews and seeing these ratings I feel even a monkey can give better reviews than Taran ( no offense to the monkey ). There are two important observations one can draw from his reviews. One: he doesn't review a movie based on its merits, charms and experience, rather he goes for the box office outcomes. Two: if he fails to understand a movie, it becomes an abstract movie or something which won't work for the Indian public. Now obviously his pea-sized brain could not comprehend the hidden beauty of Dil chahta hai or Dev D.

Why is this bad for Indian films ??
Recently there's a wave of new, fresh, and talented directors who are coming out with innovative themes for movies. Obviously they hardly get proper funding, or in other words they aren't backed by big production houses. Now who can support these films? If not with money atleast with words / praises. The CRITICS !!!

Critics are the people who irrespective of promotions, should talk about the strong points of films and promote it with their words. Millions of viewers actually read their views and decide whether to watch a movie or not. The movies which anyway get huge publicity will do well in boxoffice irrespective of what reviewers say. In such conditions what is the use of someone like Taran who calls himself a leading film critic and yet fails to understand movies like Dev D, Swades, Dil Chahta hai, Black or even Chak De India ??? I can have my 6 yr old cousin to write about a Shahrukh khan big budget movie and believe me you will hardly find any difference between his review and Moron's ( read Taran's). I just hope he stops calling it Movie reviews and calls it something like Box Office prospects, because thats exactly what his so called distasteful and biased reviews aim for.

For a long time I've found shelter in better websites for movie reviews. My most trusted sites and reviewers whom you all can whole heartedly follow are -
1) Aakash Gandhi from PlanetBollywood
2) Jeevi Review from Idlebrain
3) Many extremely talented reviewers from PassionforCinema website.

Or much better than that, be your own judge, your own reviewer. Watch a movie and decide for yourself if its good or bad. Nobody can speak for Billions of people. Not even God I think. Then how can we expect one reviewer to judge if a movie is good or bad. And that too an illiterate like Taran 'Madar'shhhh ???

24 comments:

Vish said...

I totally agree with your assessment.. One the safe website to check for reviews list, you can add this too -

http://desipundit.com/baradwajrangan/

BR is pretty good and not biased..

Anonymous said...

Excellent Article....... Thats what i think .too ....

sista said...

Sirish, you are hot!

Thanks. I've been wanting to kick that asshole's ass for a long time. Thanks for doing it so well.

You are totally hot. :)

Abdul Sami said...

nobody can bloody say that about dil chahta hai...

tho i hav no idea who this taran guy is !!!

- S i R i S h - said...

Thanx Vish, I'll check it out. and as usual thanks Sista..actually i was burning hot that day when i posted the article. I wanted to expose that son of a gun in mainstream media. He for sure takes money from the biggies and does this ass kissing.

And yes Abdul, Dil Chahta hai is a cult film which'll b remembered forever, but sadly losers like Taran fail to understand the meaning of Cult classics. I guess for him No Entry is a cult classic :)

mukul said...

GR8 stuff dude!!
i don know but may be ur sequence was
such that i cudn't stop laughing...

ur post is quite hilarious but at the same time very honest and genuine..critics like taran 'madar'ssshhhh are a big hindrance for the upcoming talent for they prevent people form rewarding their hardwork by thrashing it as abstract or pro western bla bla bla ...but movies like DEV D getting hit at box office is a big slap to these illiterates and a big reminder that they shud shut their bloody mouth and let people themselves choose

Anonymous said...

tu ekdum sahi likha taran adarsh ne apni pure life me kabhi ek film bhi banaya hai??????? he is the greatest chutiyaaa in this world no.......in this universe.f******* him

zahid said...

man you read my mind especially in mentioning the movies u mentioned!

i hate this guy so much that i go on wikipedia and every time this idiot's comment on the movie's article, i erase it. he pisses me off that much.

basically in a nutshell, he tries to predict what the public will think of the movie and tries to be a critic at the same time.

Anonymous said...

arre this dickhead taran adrsh is a loser motherfu>>>> has no clue on m ovies..he should review porn films..what a shithole guy..someone just get him a shrink@!

Anonymous said...

OH MANNNNNNNNNN. I love this post! You forgot Lagaan. That's a must add. I just cannot stand this guy. He doesn't understand anything about filmmaking just takes money and writes stuff. Thanks for this post! love it!

Piyu said...

Hi

Couldnot have agreed more.
Just to let you know that we are working on something like this as well.
Proabbly we can work support each other towards letting people know what a moron the man is & how he misleads public.
Check this out

http://aniruddha-moviefanatic.blogspot.com/2009/02/who-is-taran-adarsh.html

Piyu said...

If you are in facebook, please join this group

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=149430650216&ref=mf

Piyu said...

If you are on facebook, join this group

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=149430650216&ref=mf

Piyu said...

Suddenly TA falls in love with his supreme enemy, Anurag kashyap & give 2.5 * to "gulal"

and surprise is he says


“Accuse him of thinking abstract, but you cannot accuse Anurag Kashyap of following the stereotype.

Kashyap's GULAAL is intelligent, intense, disturbing, poignant and expectedly, cerebral.

GULAAL is thought-provoking and has the power to engage you at various points of the narrative.”

http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/movies/review/12999/index.html

- S i R i S h - said...

Thanks all for ur comments. I'm glad many agree and have the same viewpoints on this douchebag son of a @#$@%.

And thanks Piyu for the Gulaal review. Actually I've completely stopped reading his reviews after his Dev D review. I feel its a shame for intelligent people like us to resort to such mediocre imbecile reviews from nescient reviewers like TA.

So I for sure never ever will believe that TA loves AK even if he gives 5 * for AK's future movie. The reason is simple, his pea sized brain just can never understand the metaphors used in intelligent cinema.

For him there are two kinds of movies - Paisa Vasool entertainers and Art cinema.

KULDEEP said...

TARAN ADARSH IS A STUPID !!
I THINK HE SHOULD REVIEW HIMSELF AND NOT FILMS !!!
I WILL GIVE HIM 5........KICKS.......
F**K U TARAN

Anonymous said...

extremely well written....and taran seems to have a fetish for giving high ratings to masala movies..the ratings he's given to some of the movies(like chak de etc) clearly indicate that his thinking passes as a tangent to the actual good movies...i wish taran reads this article...i'm definitely sending him a mail on etc with this link

ethan said...

Taran Adarsh you are a critic. And your presentation is fair. When you get meet any celebrity on the idiot box and asked them to such questions as we think. I want to ask that question. You are a good invigilator.
visithallucinatingsapience

Sagnik-ignited soul said...

Oh man i loved it, especially that monkey part :).

btw, is Taran a critique? no no man, he is just a dumbo. he has done enough with his peanut sized brain. forget him.

RIP, TARAN.

Anonymous said...

i was totally disappointed with his reviews of New York, Blue, De Dana Dan (all bad movies) recently.

Anonymous said...

Well I to but I dream the collection should have more info then it has.

Anonymous said...

Here is a list of films from Dharma production (Karan Johar) and their rating by Taran--

1. Kaal--4.0

2. KANK-4.5

3. K3G--4.5

4. Kurbaan-4.0

5. Dostana-4.0

6. Wake Up Sid- 4.0

7. My Name is Khan - 4.5

Do you see a pattern?

Anonymous said...

great read. I would love to follow you on twitter.

Anonymous said...

I used to think that he is good reviewing a movie...and at times was satisfied by his ratings but after seeing your article i totally agree with you...i mean how can you give 1, 2, 2.5 ratings to movies like DCH, RDB, Black, Chak de India to mention a few and 4 to Kaal....seriously disgusting!